1. |
sad_boyz
03:07
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i'm sick of the sad boys
stuck in their own noise
i'd take a bad boy anyday
but when the bad boys
act out and destroy
the things that you loved
what can you say?
give me some punk fuzz
to listen to while i buzz
cut my hair off
is this what all the girls do?
googling stick'n'poke
tattoos cause i'll b so broke
from the wad i blew
on swish vegan shoes
hypersurreal dreams of u
falling asleep with a view of the blue skies
as saturated as i find
oh i'm glad that i found u
talk to me all night
until the sunlight
is burning ur skin
like liquid nitrogen
we fall in love so slowly
and god i'd be so lonely
if it weren't for all the
'i'm glad i found u's
and the art i let u choose
hypersurreal dreams of u
falling asleep with a view of the blue skies
as saturated as i find
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2. |
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you gave me a room and i filled it with orange
and yellow and blue and pieces of my heart
and a life i wanted to live
and i wrote on the windows and put up drawings
of my body on the walls
and rainbow teapots on the windowsill
filled with pens my best friend had used
to colour in the numbers on my clock
so my time here would be more mine
and i brought back mud, caked to my boots,
from a place i loved and grew
to this sacred room, filled with orange
and yellow and blue and pieces of my heart
messy and glorious and excited to be here
because this is where i sleep
and this is where i dream
and this is where i keep myself alive
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3. |
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when you called me weeks ago
and told me that if i could hold
a greater capacity for forgiving myself
it would probably improve my mental health
i was sat by the edge of a tidal river
the banks overwhelmed as the water drew nearer
and the dark closed around me like a warm mouth
i was rolled on the tongue and sung to about
how love
loving is easy when you can choose it in small pieces
and the tears on my face kissed away by the rain
the tenderest kind that acknowledges pain
of both mine and the man’s who asked me the time
who spoke of love and left me crying
and the dark curled around me like a warm cat
i walked home alone and took comfort in that
i gazed across the river again
and laughed out loud, it was like losing my name
because love
loving is easy when you can choose it in small pieces
because love
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4. |
sweet grief
02:18
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your smile and your laugh visited me this evening, as i drifted in front of my fire, the ground freezing hard outside. you are imprinted close on me, and there is a sweet grief to that, more love than loss. your taste of magic is missing in my life for now, that sharp-bright-queer fairy-being a distant gladness. there is an earthed excitement in me.
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5. |
sourdough complex
02:05
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i’m still writing letters sometimes
someone gets some of my better-spent time
i know my edges are receding
i can’t keep my fingers in so many pies
(keep my fingers in so many pies)
(with all this staying inside, we’re all staying inside)
and i’ve taught myself to knit in the round
it feels like some lost treasure i’ve found
i’m admiring all the knitwear i meet
but there’s guilt somehow in all the sitting down
(there’s guilt somehow in all the sitting down)
(with all this hanging around, all i’m doing is hanging around)
i should be bettering myself
my friends are working out
skateboarding all around the empty town
i should be bettering myself
when will i learn to make sourdough if not now?
better and better and bettering bettering bettering
i’m still writing letters sometimes
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6. |
enough, enough.
02:32
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i don’t want to have a debate, i want a conversation
i don’t want to keep you from the whole
i want your liberation
i don’t want an easy fix, no
i want to heal and help us both
grow
love is as love does and we are so far apart
in letters written and poems read
in video calls and
you can choose how much you want to give to me
and i can tell you what i need
but
you don’t get to decide if you’re enough for me
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mzii England, UK
fresh organic beats from ur local music nerd
@smooshyberry on insta
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